peach fuzz.

Apparently one of the requirements of being in a band is a strange bodily function that scientists still don’t know the reasons for. Facial Hair is God’s gift to men… (and a curse to some women, but you can make a living off of it if you play your cards right). Having facial hair in a band is proving the fact that we don’t have regular jobs that we have to look good for and the “man” ain’t making us shave… or it is because we are lazy and it is freezing cold out here in Germany.. In either case, I would like to take a stroll and show you ‘OnBeingHairman’.

First Exhibit, Mr. Travis Baker.

Travis has probably been rockin’ the beard longer then anyone of us. Travis has sported the straggly dark beard for a couple years now, he never let’s it too out of control yet still maintains that “messy I don’t care look”. A fine beard, I give it 7/10.

Next up, Sir Beau Trembly.

Beau usually sports the George Michael 5 o’clock shadow but as of recently broke new grounds and grew the ever-so-elusive handlebars. Common among bikers and hardcore hooligans, Beau makes the handlebars stylish and trendy for the modern man. I give him 8/10 for being so daring.

Next, The Amazing Johnny Pyburn.

Johnny shaves because he isn’t a follower. Smooth as a baby’s bum but still can skin a raccoon and make a Redsox hat out of it. Score – N/A.

And then there was me, Greg Johnson.

To be fair, the following review will be conducted by Beau. “The newest found joy in the OBH household is the radiance of Greg’s beard. Bordering on the super-fantastic, it can be described as a beautiful mixture of half Amish, half old English, but most of all, half radical rockin’ dude. Although he himself has an uneasy disposition toward his uber-masculine facial hair, the guys are supportive in his quest for face amazingness.” 8.5/10

Last but definitely not least… BRANDON MAYO.

HOLY CRAP. Mayo got here looking like a 14 year old boy and in the last 4 months grew a beard that can only be described as Magnificent. Brandon has the “Sailor whose been at sea for years” beard. Or the “Lumberjack who cut down the entire Pacific Northwest” look. I actually think parts of Brandon’s beard are growing their own beards. If Brandon ran into a bear in the forest I think the Bear would think Mayo was one of his own kind. If you punched Mayo in the face, you’d never see your fist again. If Chuck Norris grew a beard, it would be Mayo’s Beard. His facial hair can only have one ranking… 11/10.

Leave us a comment review on our beards too.
-Greg

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10 Responses to “peach fuzz.”

  1. Haha beards are amazing! And Trav should of gotten a higher score, he does actually keep his! haha makes me think of hot rod

  2. Christine Says:

    My final vote goes to Johnny. Poor thing… but Brandon… Dear lord! hhaahaha. CHAMP!!! He deserves a fricken slice of cheesecake… This blog had me in tears. Bravissimo.

  3. best blog ever

  4. I’m highly impressed by Greg’s mustache – mainly because, he has one!!! The last remnants of my ‘baby’ boy are now officially gone. =-(

  5. even though i dont know greg…i think i might love him.simply because every blog he writes…i literally laugh-out-loud 😀 hahahah i love the baby face..so my vote is for johnny :)…(sorry brandon :/ ) but brandons is the manliest..by far :D:D:D:D

  6. kdizzle homes! Says:

    what a great topic to discuss i was greatly intrigued and i must say i have always been envious of guys because the wonders of facial hair are just too great! you can do so much with your face. And i must say all of you have great hair just growing off your face .. minus johnny but hey it works 🙂 and to say who has the best beard is asking much because all of them are so great and fall into many different categories of greatness such as the technical beard, the mountainess beard, the clean beard… i can just go on and on…. bravo on your germany facial hair achievements i am so proud.

  7. caitlan stone Says:

    i think that this should have been rated by the texture of the person or persons in questions beard becuase at the end of the day when you need to rub your face on someone your not going to care what your beard looks like but how soft it is… …ya ya don’t tell me i already know im right

  8. On Being Human Says:

    The truth is, Caitlan, that all of our beards are the perfect amount of softness… Our beards are the things of dreams… we though that was a given. 🙂

  9. caitlan stone Says:

    my apologies young sir. your beards are the things that dreams are made of.

  10. Hi this blog is great I will be recommending it to friends.

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