thanksgiving?

OK, so in germany they don’t have this marvelous, spectacular, awesome, wonderful and exciting holiday that we Americans know as Thanksgiving. This is not a good thing. We Humans decided we were going to go out and cook ourselves a turkey anyways though so on Wednesday Johnny, Brandon and I went to the market to find all the perfect elements to create a holiday of our own. We had everything… a 10 pound turkey, potatoes, vegetables, rolls and the ingredients to the Pyburn’s secret family dessert…. the fruit-fluff. On Wednesday night we started preparation for the meal to come. We mashed the taters, then fruited the fluff, we chopped up bread for stuffing and we started to thaw the turkey… this is where things began to unravel. Usually when thawing a turkey the best way is in the fridge for 1-2 days so it can thaw and dry without any germs or bacteria growing… we didn’t have this kind of time so we decided to put it in the water. At first we thought… “Let’s put it in hot-water so it will thaw faster!”…. mistake 1…. we also removed the turkey from the bag and let it lie there in it’s birthday suit in the sink… mistake 2… then we realized the water had to be cold so we replaced the water and put it on cold water.. then we let it sit for several more hours… mistake 3… then we replaced the water again and left it overnight… mistake 4… and since our sink isn’t that big, part of the turkey was exposed to the cool German air… mistake 5.. The next morning, Travis comes in and arises me from my slumber around 8am, which is like unheard of for us since we have been here. No worries though, I needed to go to the store and get some more items for the stuffing.. needless to say I was kind of worried about removing the “giblets”. It just sounds so….wrong.. Anyways, I go into the kitchen to see the Turkey “naked and so co-ooo-old” on the counter, out of the water. Crap! I guess someone needed the sink in the morning so exposed our turkey to the elements… mistake 6… By the time this had happened the turkey had been thawing for 15 hours… the 7th and final mistake.

After a bit of reading I realized we made every mistake we could of made in thawing a turkey and that the turkey would probably kill us if we ate it. So I bagged up her up and said good-bye to my first thanksgiving without a turkey. 

Me and Johnny were pretty sad. 

We ended up getting some steaks and had the mashed potatoes and a rather runny fruit-fluff. Travis didn’t mind, he enjoyed the meal after a long day of shower-door searching. So in conclusion, be thankful for moms, sisters, grandmas and the people in your lives who know how to make turkeys….women.

The End.

-Greg

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2 Responses to “thanksgiving?”

  1. You guys should have read up on it before you thawed it haha. At least you had everything else though. And Ham is a part of Thanksgiving but no one ever wants it 😦

  2. this blog is so funny.lol i was literally laughing out loud! 😀 hahahaha yes your first thanksgiving without a turkey..but definately a one to remember..:)

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